She said she wasn’t ever going to trust any man again – her guy had eloped with another lady. He said he was never going to trust a friend again, because his best friend had duped him in business. He said he wasn’t going to church again, because his pastor was involved in infidelity. These are not just fiction but real life scenarios.
We all have experienced and will experience hurts at certain points in our life. They are largely inevitable. A lot of people have deluded themselves into thinking they can never be hurt; they are the most heart-broken when it comes. While I do not suggest we become paranoid and reclusive, we need to be aware that we will be hurt sometimes. Why is this so you ask? Because we are in a human world and time has shown us humans to be imperfect and selfish.
The heart is deceitful above all things,
And desperately wicked;
Who can know it? – Jer 17:9
So how do you handle hurts when they come? Should we ruminate on the hurt and allow bitterness to well up like a flood inside us till we burst with vengeful emotions? Well, that may seem the “logical” choice. However, a careful evaluation of the final outcome will show that option as perilous. So what do you do when you have been hurt and you feel a growing emotion within to take vengeance?
Understand that we are all human, and our nature comes with a propensity for error. Even the best of us is still human. Once you have this bias, you will find it easier to absorb most errors. The truth is, most times, what we blame others of, we are also guilty of the same things.
Let out the steam. Bitterness and anger, resulting from a hurt are like a steam boiler. If there is no outlet, we have the risk of a destructive explosion, which can not only affect us but damage other good relationship we have. So it is quite important that you let the steam out. Find someone to talk to. I am an advocate that the first person you talk to is God. Let Him know how you feel, and He is the one to talk to especially when the person who hurts you is your spouse. Apart from this, you can talk to people in whom you have a certain level of trust. It is important that you also talk to the right people and not to people who will be stoking the flames of vengeance in you.
Have a large heart and a short memory. In other words, be quick to forgive. Unforgiveness is wrong and a grievous sin. We may feel justified doing it but in the sight of God it is evil.
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins – Mark 11:25
Pray for the person who hurt you. Nothing gives you an advantage over a hurt like this. In fact, this is a weapon for turning your hurt to glory. Now, I am not talking about the “rain-down-fire-on-my-enemies” kind of prayers. I am talking about the prayer that seeks the good of the person who hurt you. Honestly, when you do this, you rise above the hurt and its source. We see this when Lord Jesus was on the cross. He uttered this prayer:
And Jesus said, Father forgive them, for they know not what they do – Luke 23:34a
While our human part may bulk at the idea of praying “good” for our who hurt us, it is the only way by which we totally overcome the hurt.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good – Rom 12:21
Finally, leave vengeance to God. Just as it is written:
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Take a little time to think about this. Thanks for stopping by. 😉
