I have been away from Lagos for some days now, and I dreaded the thought of returning to the city, even though I miss my family so much. Like most large cities, Lagos can be chaotic at times. You can recall my experience going back home from work some weeks ago. The thought of returning to this was not funny at all. However, when you think of it carefully, you will find out that this chaos is not only peculiar to Lagos. Life generally seems more chaotic. There is so much distraction all around that it is almost impossible to focus on what matters.
In today’s fast-paced, constantly connected world, finding inner calm can seem like an elusive goal. When you open social media feeds, pick up a newspaper, or step out of the house, everything seems to be screaming at you. Your mind races from one thought to another. This state of information overload causes stress and sometimes leads to mistakes or wrong decisions.
The truth is that if you want to lead a fulfilling life, you need to be able to attain inner calm in the midst of the chaos around you. And this inner calm or serenity is attainable.
The Value of Calmness and Emotional Balance
This isn’t just about having peace of mind. It is about navigating life’s challenges without losing your cool. It is about finding your inner calm in a chaotic world. We all know that life will always throw us some stormy seasons. Your ability to stay calm under these conditions is not just a skill but a source of empowerment that can give you confidence and control over your life’s journey.
Do you remember Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger? He is the captain of US Airways Flight 1549, which made an emergency landing on the Hudson River on January 15, 2009, after his plane ran into a flock of Geese and lost both engines shortly after takeoff. It takes an exceptional level of calm to think for yourself and make correct decisions under such circumstances. This example, though extreme, reassures us that with the right mindset, we can be prepared for any critical decisions under pressure.
I know you will probably never pilot an aeroplane in an emergency. However, you will, at certain points in your life, need to make critical decisions under extreme pressure. Having a serene mind will help us make better decisions instead of reacting on impulse.
Reacting on impulse is being driven by our emotions and often happens without much thought. When we follow this pathway, our reaction can be impulsive, disproportionate, and sometimes regrettable. Responding, on the other hand, involves taking a pause between the trigger and our action. This pause allows us to process the situation, consider our options, and choose a more appropriate course of action.
How Self-Control Leads to Greater Serenity
The key to this level of inner calm is self-control. This is the ability to manage our thoughts, emotions, and actions in the face of external stimuli. It is being able to suppress your natural tendency to react to things and respond instead. The calmer and more composed you become, the more successful you’ll be, the greater your positive influence on others, and the better you can do in the world.
So, how can we develop this level of self-control?
Mindfulness
One way to develop self-control is through mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and engaged in the moment, aware of our thoughts and feelings without judgment. It involves Observing our thoughts and emotions as they arise and recognising patterns in our thinking and emotional responses. One way to practice mindfulness is through solitude.
Solitude involves disconnecting from all external distractions and allowing your mind to be calm. Look for a quiet place where you can be alone and sit down for a few minutes without your mobile phones, TV, music, writing materials, or anything that can interrupt your thoughts. Don’t try to think about anything. Just allow your thoughts to flow.
If you have not engaged in this activity before, sitting still for more than 10 minutes may be challenging. In fact, you will experience the irresistible urge to get up and do something – like picking up your phone. Don’t do so. Persist and sit still. After a while, you will feel a sense of calm flow over you and begin to hear your innermost thoughts.
Delayed Gratification
Another way to develop self-control is to delay the gratification of our desires. Delayed gratification refers to our capacity to forgo immediate pleasure or satisfaction in pursuit of a more significant or lasting benefit in the future. It involves exercising self-control and patience to achieve longer-term goals or rewards rather than succumbing to instant desires or impulses.
You have to be intentional about this. You can start small with minor acts of self-control, like waiting an extra 5 minutes before having a snack. Another way is to pause and reflect on your actions before taking the action. For example, when you feel an impulse, pause for a moment to ask yourself if the action aligns with your long-term goals. When you train your mind this way, you will soon be able to exercise a greater degree of self-control over other areas of your life.
Advantages of Cultivating Inner Peace
Mastering your emotions paves the way for success in both personal and professional spheres. A tranquil mind fosters creativity and receptiveness to new concepts, allowing you to approach challenges with fresh perspectives. This mental clarity enhances cognitive flexibility, a crucial skill in today’s rapidly changing world.
Inner calm also creates a space for introspection that enables continuous self-improvement. By regularly reflecting on your actions, thoughts, and goals, you can make intentional adjustments to your behaviour and strategies, leading to more consistent personal growth.
Your composed demeanour will enhance your leadership abilities and strengthen professional relationships. Emotional intelligence, closely tied to inner peace, is increasingly recognised as a key factor in effective leadership. Leaders who maintain composure under pressure inspire confidence and trust in their teams, fostering a more positive and productive work environment.
Even individuals in ordinary positions may experience increased success as they develop greater self-discipline and emotional balance. This is partly because a calm mind allows for better prioritisation and time management, leading to improved productivity and work quality.
Mental serenity also promotes better sleep quality, a critical factor in overall health and cognitive function. The National Sleep Foundation reports that individuals with lower stress levels and better emotional regulation tend to experience more restful sleep, which in turn supports better daytime functioning.
Lastly, a serene mind contributes to more fulfilling personal relationships. When you’re at peace with yourself, you’re better equipped to listen actively, empathise with others, and respond to conflicts constructively, leading to deeper connections and more harmonious interactions in all areas of life.
The Far-Reaching Impact of Inner Calm
As you cultivate inner calm, its influence extends far beyond your own mind, creating ripples that touch the world around you. It’s a stark contrast to the all-too-common scenario where individuals poison their own lives and relationships through unchecked emotions. Many people unknowingly sabotage their happiness and tarnish beautiful moments with explosive tempers. This lack of self-control can shatter one’s composure and sow seeds of discord in relationships.
Consider how often we encounter those who seem to be their own worst enemies, their lack of emotional restraint ruining not only their own experiences but also affecting those around them. It’s a sobering thought that a significant portion of life’s difficulties and interpersonal conflicts might stem from this fundamental lack of inner peace.
In contrast, when we embody serenity, we become a calming force in our environment. Our presence offers comfort and stability to those around us, much like a tree providing cool shade in a scorching desert or a sturdy rock offering shelter during a violent storm. This serene demeanour not only improves our own life experience but also positively influences our interactions and relationships, creating a more harmonious environment for all.
Conclusion
In our tumultuous world, fostering inner peace is not a luxury but a vital necessity for a balanced, fulfilling life. This state of mental calmness stands as one of wisdom’s most precious jewels, the result of persistent and patient efforts in self-mastery.
Remember, developing your inner calm in a chaotic world is an ongoing journey rather than a fixed destination. Be gentle with yourself, acknowledge small progress, and maintain consistent practice. With time, you’ll find yourself increasingly capable of navigating life’s challenges with poise and equanimity.
The pursuit of inner peace offers a profound perspective shift. Consider the insignificance of mere material pursuits when compared to the richness of a serene life – one that resides in the depths of truth, sheltered from life’s tempests in a state of enduring tranquillity. This exquisite balance of character, more valuable than the finest gold, represents the ultimate fruit of personal growth and self-cultivation.
As you continue on this path, may you discover that inner calm within yourself. In doing so, you have the potential to become a lighthouse of serenity in our often stormy world, offering others a glimpse of the peace that lies within reach for us all.
